The following article is by a Behaviour Analyst, & it is intended to help parents with understanding child behaviour. Studies in the field of Behaviour Analysis show that by parents having a better understanding of child behaviour, this reduces the chances of behaviour challenges occurring, & also if they do occur, by parents understanding child behaviour, it allows them to address the behaviour difficulties a lot more effectively.
1) Every Child Achieves Things In Their Own Time – When parenting it can be easy to compare your child’s progress with that of other children their age. This can then lead to worry on the parent’s part, that their child isn’t achieving as much as they should be. However, every child is individual, & Child Therapists underline how important it is to remember that all children will progress & develop at their own pace.
2) Developmental Milestones Are A Guideline, Not A Rule Book – Behaviour Therapists stress to parents that developmental milestones are only there to guide parents as to where a child should roughly be in terms of development, but some children start to talk early, walk early, or talk later, or walk later, & when a child doesn’t meet a developmental milestone exactly when they “are supposed to”, it shouldn’t be concern for panic. However, if a child is still not meeting that particular developmental milestone, after a sufficient amount of time, or if a child is not meeting more than one developmental milestone, or if they are not meeting several developmental milestones, it may be beneficial for parents to get it checked out just to be sure there is nothing underlying causing this.
3) Behind Every Behaviour There Is A Reason – Often times parents think that their child has “anger issues” & that they need help managing anger. However, it is important for parents to look at the root of the problem, i.e., where the anger is stemming from & then to address it at it’s source.
4) Your Child May Not Be Academic, But They May Still Be Extremely Intelligent – When one sibling is particularly talented in a particular area, for e.g., if they are good at school & achieve good marks, sometimes a lot of focus & attention can be put on them & their achievements. Whereas, another sibling who may be more naturally drawn towards things that are not academic, for e.g., construction or farming, etc., may actually be very intelligent too but if may be overlooked because they don’t have an interest in school & so their marks may not be good. However, parents should make sure to acknowledge each child’s skills, ability, & intelligence in whatever areas they shine best in, so as to reduce the chances of sibling rivalry.
5) The Main Thing Your Child Wants Is Your Time – Children can at times present with behaviours such as having tantrums, or other negative behaviours, & parents often wonder why, as there behaviour doesn’t seem to have an explanation. However when analysed, often times these negative behaviours, is the child’s way of attention seeking & wanting their parents to give them the time & attention that they are looking for.
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