In terms of child behaviour, Behaviour Analysts highlight that all toddlers tend to go through a phase of testing boundaries. This is common, & some of the behaviours parents may see their toddler present with are sibling rivalry, attention-seeking behaviour, etc. During this phase of testing boundaries, when parents tell the toddler, “No”, or that the child can’t have/do something – this usually leads to the toddler having difficulty managing anger, resulting in tantrums & negative behaviour.
When parenting & facing challenges such as these, where the toddler refuses to accept it when their parent tells them “No”, Behaviour Therapists underline how important it is, that the parent stands their ground, follows through, & does not give in.
If a parent tries doing this, & the child then presents with behaviour challenges, & the parent then gives in as a result – Child Therapists point out, that the parent has then taught the child, that presenting with negative behaviour, works in getting the child their own way, & makes it likely that the child will display this behaviour again in the future.
When a parent follows through & is consistent with this approach each time, this teaches the toddler, that presenting with negative behaviour does not work in getting them their own way. Children will test parents on these boundaries, but as shown in studies in the field of Behaviour Analysis, it is important that both parents are responding to the behaviour in the same way, & that the parents are consistent in this approach, so that the child is not getting mixed messages about the consequences of their behaviour.
Although toddlers are young, this is a time that they are absorbing everything that is going on around them & making sense of it, & so it is the perfect time for parents to start putting boundaries in place.
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