As adults we know that perfection doesn’t exist. However, Behaviour Analysts point out that children don’t always know this. That is why it is so important that parents teach their child that perfection doesn’t exist, but that it is still good to always try our best, & it is still good to continuously work on improving ourselves in a healthy way in terms of self-development.
In terms of child behaviour, Behaviour Therapists highlight that children at times display attention-seeking/connection-seeking behaviours towards their parents in order to get praise & approval from them. It is a natural desire for a child to want to receive this praise & approval from their parents & so it should be freely given, as otherwise, at times the way in which they seek the attention they are looking for, can then turn to trying to achieve perfection, as they think that if they are perfect, their parents will love them.
Studies in the field of Behaviour Analysis have found that this can lead to behaviour challenges such as the child having feelings of not being good enough, & difficulty managing anger when they don’t live up to the high expectations of perfection they have placed upon themselves.
Child Therapists underline that, if a child regularly feels like they don’t meet the mark & are comparing themselves to others, for e.g., comparing themselves to siblings in terms of sibling rivalry – the child can then start to avoid or refuse to do the tasks, have tantrums when the task is presented, or show frustration/annoyance during tasks, due to the pressure they put on themselves “to do it right”.
When parenting, it is good to look out for this & be aware of it, as it can make all the difference for parents to put the overall focus on encouraging their child to do their best & letting them know that their best is good enough.
#NoSuchThingAsPerfect #TakeAwayThePressure #TheirBestIsEnough
