Studies from the field of Behaviour Analysis have found that the main kind of behaviour challenges that parents generally are trying to avoid, are along the lines of negative child behaviour like tantrums resulting from difficultly managing anger, the child not doing as asked, sibling rivalry, presenting with attention-seeking behaviour, etc.
In terms of tantrum behaviour, Child Therapists highlight that one of the main triggers for these tantrums, seem quite often to be, as a result of being told no or that they can’t have something the way they want. When the child hears this, they then respond by presenting with tantrum behaviour, in an attempt to get attention from the parent in order to get their desired reaction of the parent giving in to stop the tantrum behaviour continuing.
Rather than parents having to deal with the tantrum when it happens, at times parents try to distract or tiptoe around saying no to their child in an attempt to avoid triggering the tantrum in the first place. At times parents avoid saying no “to have an easier life”, or “to save the battle”.
However, Behaviour Analysts point out, the very important logic that:
If when parenting, the parent never tells the child no, the child then never learns to accept it.
*The longer the child gets everything the way they want, the harder it is for the child to then accept it when they no longer do*
Behaviour Therapists advise that, it is much easier for everyone involved (for both the child & the adult), for the child to learn, initially in the home environment, how to accept the word no so that they are more equipped to handle it when told no outside of the home environment, such as when at places like preschool, school, activities, etc.
#makingacceptanceeasier #behaviourbeginsathome
