All Children Need Attention

Behaviour Analysts emphasise that children who present with positive behaviour can often get overlooked by their parents, & another sibling who is presenting with negative behaviour can tend to be the main focus of the parent’s attention. It can be seen as to how this might accidentally happen without the parents realising, but nonetheless, it is something that parents need to be conscious of, as it can be very unfair on the child who is behaving well but getting less attention, & not only can it impact the child negatively at the time, it can also have long lasting effects into their future.

Although at the time, it may not seem that this is impacting on the child who is presenting with positive behaviour, Behaviour Therapists highlight, that as time goes on, the child can start to get frustrated that their sibling gets the majority of the attention even though their sibling is displaying a lot of behaviour challenges, & that they themself get a lot less attention even thought they behave so well.

Studies in the field of Behaviour Analysis show that, this frustration can build up & build up until the child who generally displays positive behaviour, has difficulty managing this anger, which then presents itself in the form of tantrums, & other negative behaviour.

Along with the anger & frustration, Child Therapists point out that this situation can also trigger sibling rivalry & attention-seeking behaviour. This is due to the child who normally presents with positive behaviour, resorting to presenting with negative behaviour, similar to what their sibling is, in order to compete for their parent’s attention. The main reason behind this is that, they have started to realise that presenting with negative behaviour gets attention more quickly & intensely that what presenting with positive behaviour does.

In essence, it highlights the importance of when parenting, to not forget the “easier” child & to make a conscious effort to give all of your children your equal time & attention, as it does impact them at the time & in the long run.