Behaviour Analysts Highlight That When A Child Is Very Shy, It Is Important For Parents To Let Their Child Take Their Time To Ease Themselves Into A Situation – By forcing a child to participate more than they feel comfortable doing, this can lead to the child feeling anxious & annoyed, & it may result in frustration, difficulty managing anger, & tantrums.
It Is Important For Parents Not To Force Their Child To Participate More Than Their Child Feels Comfortable Doing – Sometimes when one sibling is able to do a certain thing without any difficulty, parents try to persuade the other sibling to do so too. However, due to different personality types, if one sibling is shy, they may not feel comfortable doing so. Sometimes, then when parents are trying to push/encourage their child to do it, their sibling joins in taunting them about how they can do it without any difficulty & that the other child can’t. Child Therapists underline that this added sibling rivalry can then put extra pressure on the situation. So this is why it is so important that parents take the lead, & show by example that it is ok if one child doesn’t want to do it.
Reassure But Don’t Over-Reassure As This Creates Even More Attention Around The Situation – Behaviour Therapists point out that this is an important point to remember when parenting, as giving some reassurance is healthy, but over-reassuring can inadvertently lead to the parent making an even bigger deal of the situation & the child’s anxiety around the situation increasing as a result.
Slowly & Gradually Increase How Often, For How Long, & Around How Many Children Your Child Socialises – If this process is done too quickly, & the amount of people that your child is expected to socialise with at the one time is increased too quickly, or the length of time they are expected to socialise for at any one time is increased too quickly, or how often you expect your child to socialise is extended too soon – any of these factors can lead to your child presenting with behaviour challenges if they are struggling to cope with the magnitude of the change.
If Your Child Needs You To Be There During The Social Situation Initially, Then Be There – This Can Be Gradually Faded Out. Sometimes when a child wants their parents to stay with them/near to them during an activity or in a social situation, some people comment that the child is “clingy” or “attention-seeking”. However studies in the field of Behaviour Analysis show that, every child is different, & one child may be a lot more anxious or shy than another, & so this personality difference should be respected, & the parent should show the child that they will always be there for them whenever needed.
Most Importantly, Praise & Reward Steps In The Right Direction – Child behaviour that is rewarded, is behaviour that you are likely to see more of. So, if a child is very shy but is showing progress, no matter how small, & are making steps in the right direction in terms of overcoming their shyness, then each little step along the way should be acknowledged & praised.
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Good case studies.
Thank you Aimee.