Build A Child's Confidence | The Child Behaviour Consultancy

The Following Are Some Tips From A Behaviour Analyst With Regards Things That Parents Can Do In Order To Help Build A Child’s Confidence:

Give Them Lots & Lots Of Praise. Children often compare themselves to other children, or to their siblings in the form of sibling rivalry. By giving them lots of praise on a daily basis, this builds their self-esteem so that they do not feel inferior to their peers/siblings, & so they do not feel the need to compare themselves with others, but instead have a steadfast confidence in themselves & their own ability.

Let Them Overhear You Praising Them. In terms of child behaviour, Behaviour Therapists point out that whatever behaviour gets reinforced/rewarded, is the behaviour you will see more of. So make sure it is positive behaviour your are giving lots of attention for, rather than giving lots of attention to negative behaviour. This makes it more likely that the child will behave more positively to get the positive praise & attention, & they should present with less behaviour challenges as they will be getting the attention they are looking for through positive means, & so won’t have to look for it through negative means.

Be Confident In Your Own Life. A lot of the time when parenting, parents put all the focus on the child & how they are behaving. However, a child watches & observes their parents in order to learn how they should behave. Hence, why being confident in how you live your own life has such a benefit for them.

Give Them Responsibility. It is so important to give a child age-appropriate levels of responsibility from early-on in life. The reason being is that, if the child is used to doing little tasks & jobs around the house from when they are little, then when they are older, & are asked to do things, then this just flows on from this, & they are more likely to do so without any behaviour challenges arising. In addition to this, when a child is given age-appropriate responsibility throughout their life, it shows them that they are able for different tasks & responsibilities, which in turn increases their confidence & self-belief, making it more likely that later in life, they will put themselves forward for different opportunities & won’t shy away from things, as they have that belief in themselves, instilled from a young age.

Listen To What They Have To Say. When a child does not feel heard, studies in the field of Behaviour Analysis show, that this can lead to the child presenting with frustration, resentment, & attention-seeking behaviours. Over time, this can lead to the child having outbursts, which can look like they have difficulty managing anger. However, if a parent listens to their child & cares about what they have to say, this makes the child feel heard & helps to build a child’s confidence, & so they don’t have the same feelings of anger, & in turn it is not leading to outbursts or negative/attention-seeking behaviour.

Teach Them To “Act Confident” Especially When They Don’t Feel It. The quickest way to change a person’s psychology, is to change their physiology. So this means that the quickest way to change how you are mentally thinking about yourself, is to change the way you are standing/moving/holding yourself. For e.g., if someone is feeling nervous/shy, the quickest way for them to feel more confident in the situation, is to stand up straight, hold their head high, & “act confident”, as a person’s brain doesn’t know the difference between a person acting like that, & actually feeling it, & so the brain is tricked into thinking that the person is feeling confident, & so this message is sent back out from the brain to the person, so they instantly feel more confident simply by changing their pose/demeanor.

Encourage Them In Their Interests As They Are More Likely To Become Confident In What They Are Good At. Child Therapists know the importance of nurturing your child’s natural interests, rather than battling with them to be good at areas they struggle with or have no real natural interest in, if it is not necessary to do so.

Don’t Over-Control Situations. Go By Their Lead At Times. If a parent is always telling a child what to do, this can result in tantrums. Whereas when a child is let take the lead, this shows the child that the parent has faith in them & their ability. This in turn, gives the child faith in their own ability.

Encourage Them To Help Solve Their Own Problems. This is so important in building confidence, as if a person grows up always having other people jump in to tell them how to solve their problems, it makes them feel inadequate in their ability to do so for themselves. By encouraging them to take active participation in coming up with solutions for their own problems, this makes it register with them, that they are capable of overcoming problems without over-reliance on everyone else.

Teach Them Not To Fear Failure. This is the big one when it comes to helping build a child’s confidence, as if a person does not fear failure, they will not be afraid of looking silly or making a mistake. They instead will see it for what it is – an opportunity to move forward & any mistake will simply be a learning curve. This lack of fear of failure, will give them the confidence & bravery to achieve all the great things in life & will serve them very well.

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