Two words that Behaviour Therapists notice that parents often get mixed up on when it comes to child behaviour are bribery & reinforcement. It’s important to be aware of the difference between the two, as studies in the field of Behaviour Analysis show that bribery will reward negative behaviour & make it more likely that your child will present with negative behaviour again in the future. Whereas reinforcement will reward positive behaviour & make it more likely that your child will present with positive behaviour in the future.
An Example Of Both By A Child Therapist:
Bribery: Your child is having difficulty managing anger & is having a tantrum at the queue for the till in the shop because they didn’t get the toy they wanted. To get them to stop having a tantrum, you get them a chocolate bar & tell them “Take this now & stop crying”. This isn’t planned out, you’re reacting to the behaviour, it’s following the problem behaviour of your child crying because they didn’t get what they want, it’s a short term fix which will make it more likely that the next time they will do the same thing again as they got rewarded for it.
Reinforcement: Before going into the shop you tell your child “Mammy is just nipping in for bread & milk. We’re not buying any toys today & if you’re so good now in the shop you can get a chocolate bar at the till.” This is planned out, it’s adult led, they get the chocolate bar after they behave well, & they learn that in order to get rewarded they must present with positive not negative behaviour & so the next time they are in the shop they are more likely to behave.
The above is just one example, but choosing reinforcement over bribery can be applied to a wide range of behaviour challenges such as addressing sibling rivalry, attention-seeking/connection-seeking behaviours, motivating them to listen & do as they are asked, etc.
To sum it up, Behaviour Analysts recommend to make parenting easier, always choose reinforcement over bribery as it promotes positive behaviour at the time & also increases the chances of positive behaviour in the long run.
