There are often times in relation to child behaviour that the child refuses to do as asked. Child Therapists note that this is quite common but can be frustrating for parents & also time consuming especially if it is a task that is necessary in their day to day routine that needs to be completed, for example, getting dressed, getting homework done, etc.
Due to the frustration caused & also time running out to get it done, studies in the area of Behaviour Analysis show that this can at times lead to a negative cycle of the adult repeatedly asking the child to do it, the child refusing, the adult getting cross & the child getting upset, which may then lead to difficulty with them managing anger, tantrums, etc.
Behaviour Analysts point out that initially the child isn’t keen on doing the task but due to the extra negativity surrounding it, it can end up that they then develop a negative association with that particular task & as soon as it’s time to do it from then on, it can lead to them presenting with negative behaviour.
To make parenting easier, Behaviour Therapists recommend a way of effectively addressing this, is for the adult to change the approach taken towards the situation. Just like adults, children are at times not keen on some of the things they have to do. Again, like adults, children need some sort of motivation to get it done.
Adults find their motivation from the likes of getting paid for it, doing it for their children, their future, etc. Similarly, children at times need motivation that isn’t there.
This can be found through:
* Praise
* Stickers
* Rewards
* Access to a Preferred Item
* Letting them know “First” they have to do the unpreferred activity “& Then” they get to do something fun.
(Some of the above can be used as part of strategies to help address other behaviour challenges also, such as sibling rivalry, attention-seeking/connection-seeking behaviour, etc.).
Every child is different but there will always be something that is motivating for them even though sometimes you have to think a bit harder about it or even think outside the box.
