Child Acting Out

Behaviour Analysts recommend that when parents are addressing child behaviour, for e.g., managing anger, tantrums, sibling rivalry, attention-seeking/connection seeking behaviour, etc., that both parents are on the same page & responding in the same way to the behaviour. Studies in the field of Behaviour Analysis show, that it is vital that both parents are working as a team when parenting, & backing each other up.

Behaviour Therapists point out, it is important that a child knows what the outcome of their behaviour is & that this outcome is consistent across the board. If a child receives a certain response from one parent & a different response from the other parent, it gives mixed feedback to the child as to the consequences of their behaviour.

Child Therapist outline how it can also lead to the “good cop, bad cop” scenario whereby one parent tries to address the behaviour challenges their child presents with, whereas the other parent finds it more difficult to follow through with addressing the behaviour & so the child tends to turn to them when the behaviour happens.

A pattern usually then develops of the child always doing this after presenting with negative behaviour. It can cause arguments between the parents as one parent begins to feel undermined & annoyed that they have to be “bad cop” all the time while the other parent turns a blind eye to the negative behaviour & gets to stay in the child’s good books.

Over time, the parent who tried to address the behaviour starts to lose heart in it as their efforts are in vain as the other parent always takes the child’s side & so the behaviour never changes.

This highlights the importance of parents being on the same page in terms of how they respond to negative behaviour & the importance of working as a team in order to effectively change the behaviour for the better.