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Child Testing Boundaries

When it comes to parenting & behaviour challenges, there is no such thing as a “bold” child. Behaviour Analysts highlight that your child’s behaviour is just an attempt to try to gain access to or avoid something, etc. & they have found ways in which they have found works in achieving this. Unfortunately, at times it is through presenting with negative behaviour which to their parents isn’t desirable but to the child it is the way in which they have found works for them.

Behaviour Therapists point out that both children & adults alike will all test boundaries & push things that little bit further until they know they can’t. This is why it is so important to have rules & boundaries in place that you implement consistently, as this sets structure & a clear outline for your child as to what is acceptable & what is not. If you are not consistent with the implementation of rules & boundaries then this sends mixed signals to your child & your child is less likely to abide by them.

Studies from the field of Behaviour Analysis highlight that managing anger & behaving, takes practice, & so if there are no rules & boundaries in place, your child has no motivation to practice managing their anger & behaving, which makes it more likely they will have an outburst/tantrum a lot quicker than a child who has practice managing their emotions.

Child Therapists advise that it is important to teach your child that the things they are looking for or trying to avoid, etc. can be obtained through more appropriate alternative ways than presenting with negative behaviour & then providing lots of reinforcement when they choose the more appropriate alternative.

For Example:
A child displaying attention-seeking/connection-seeking behaviours due to sibling rivalry can be replaced with the more appropriate behaviour of asking Mum or Dad to play/interact with them.

#NoBoldChildren #TestingBoundaries #BeConsistentInYourApproach #TeachAppropriateAlternativeBehaviours

Roisin Doherty - Behaviour Analyst

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